Stress: Friend of Foe?

Stress in today’s society

In modern times stress seems to have become a predominantly negative word; links to buckling under the pressure of work, family life, finances, social life, expectations and relationships are commonplace...

…but does stress have anything going for it? Why does it exist? And what do you do if it’s taking over elements of your life?

Stress definition; what is stress?

The WHO (World Health Organisation) has this to say about stress…

Stress can be defined as a state of worry or mental tension caused by a difficult situation. Stress is a natural human response that prompts us to address challenges and threats in our lives. Everyone experiences stress to some degree.

Is stress ever good for us?

Stress is a natural process that exists for a reason. With the recent focus of stress being more negative, the positives of this response are often overlooked. Stress is seen by some as having developed over time into the fight or flight response. When you are up against a deadline, stress can create motivation, help us to focus and boost performance. The things to remember is that this type of stress is beneficial if it is used sparingly and is short-lived with our bodies returning to its normal state soon after.

When stress can be harmful

The image of deadlines looming, a million things that need to be done at work and at home, the clock continually ticking away giving us no time to catch up, no time to rest… sound familiar? Stress as a short-term boost is a useful thing, but modern life often keeps that stress switch flicked on for more time than would be healthy for most people. Whereas the evolutionary journey for stress developed the flight or fight response, what if that response never goes away. This mechanism for keeping us safe, spotting dangers and reacting to them heightens our systems. Our brain is always turned up to 11, always demanding resources from the body, requiring alertness and focus. It never allows the body to relax, to take time and return to our neutral state of being. 

When stress becomes too much

Stress demands a lot of the body, remember, it’s only meant to be a short-lived response. The body will use hormones to help us with high-stress moments, namely cortisol and adrenaline. Cortisol increases glucose in the bloodstream and enhances the brain’s ability to use this supply of energy. The body naturally has a limit on the time given over to the stress response before it would return to or normal resting state…

…however, what if the stressors that caused the stress response don’t go away; they are there during the majority of our day, dealing with family, friends, work and other daily responsibilities?

The long-term switching on of our stress response means that the body doesn’t rest so the mind also doesn’t get the rest that it needs to recover. If this near constant activation continues, it can increase the possibility of being affected by a range of stress symptoms such as:

·       Anxiety

·       Depression

·       Weight management issues

·       Headaches

·       Sleep problems

·       Muscle tension

·       Being more irritable

·       Stomach issues

·       Avoiding some people or places

If you have a stress-filled life and these effects sound familiar, then what do you do?

Stress treatment

So, you realise that stress has stopped being your friend, what do you do next to get out of this reoccurring cycle?

Firstly, learn to spot your stressors, your triggers. These can genuinely be anything in your life that provokes a response that leads to heightened stress levels.  Stressors could be people, situations, times of the day, noises… the list goes on. If you don’t know what your stressors are, then it’s time to get a pen and paper and start making notes to spot the patterns and see what stressors you have and what affect they have on you. Once you know your stressors, then you will be in a stronger position to do something about helping yourself.

Secondly, look at areas of your life that may not be helping you to manage your levels of stress, areas such as diet, movement, social life and the priority you are in your own life.

·       Diet – a healthy, strong immune system will help support you with your stress journey. Your immune system is helped by having varied diet that has a good level of fibre.

·       Movement – you can call this exercise if you prefer, but this doesn’t need to be something structured and it definitely should be something that is a chore! If you hate going to the gym, don’t go, find something that you like. Also, we don’t need to be doing HIIT training; a walk will help so much with making sure that you are out in the fresh air and simply moving your body.

·       Social life – this could be as big as you want it to be, but connection is key. Connection can be something as simple as talking to the person behind the counter when in a shop, smiling and saying hello to someone as you walk down the street. Be aware of how well you socialise; do social interaction give you energy or make you feel like your battery is running out? Do what you can and don’t force more than you can handle.

·       You are your biggest priority – if you’ve ever been on a plane, you’ll know that they tell you to put on your mask first before helping others in case of any issues. Life is the same. If you are run down, stressed, worn out and exhausted, how are going to be able to help others? Making yourself a priority isn’t selfish, making yourself a priority is the way that you are then able to make time for others. Have a think now about where you are in the list of priorities that you have in life, if you’re not at the top then have a think about any changes that you could make to help but you at the top of that list.

Where can I find help?

The key to stress management is first of all to understand the role stress plays in your life. Where and when is stress causing issues? Once you know where you are struggling, then you could look for specific help

If you honestly don’t know where to start, don’t worry, there is plenty of help out there to guide you through this process.

Stress is manageable but it will take time and it will need some changes to either life, your outlook or both.

Talking about your issues is a great starting place for many people. When you voice an issue, it can often seem more real and often not as bad as we were thinking about when it was bouncing around out minds.

·       Talk to a friend or member of your family that you trust. Sometimes people feel like admitting to stress is the same as saying that they can’t cope, so choose someone that you can be open and honest with.

·       Write down your worries in a journal. Writing about your issues is just as powerful as talking to someone about them.

·       Find a coach who will be able to help you understand what is happening in your life now and then help you to get to where you want to be in your relationship with stress.

Remember that YouTube has lots of great resources for activities that can help with stress:

·       Deep breathing exercises

·       Yoga or Pilates

·       Meditation / Mindfulness

Also, use the resources given by:

·       The NHS (Every Mind Matters) - https://www.nhs.uk/every-mind-matters/mental-health-issues/stress/

·       The Stress Management Society - https://www.stress.org.uk/

·       Samaritans - https://www.samaritans.org/ 

·       Mind Tools - https://www.mindtools.com/